Hey, How About A Contest?

So I, uh, CLEARLY dropped the ball on the Durex challenge last week. Friday and Saturday are nonexistent. Sorry! But, you know, seven days of sex in a ROW? Come on, we’re married with children over here. (Some of us, anyway.) You’re asking a lot! I promise I will finish the challenge up soon so you all can have your frisky fun and share it with us. In the meantime, to soothe your raging libidos a bit, how about a contest? I still have several prize packs leftover, and I want to give them to YOU! And you, and you…

The Prize:
Seven lucky winners will receive:
A fun, flirty bag complete with stylish Durex Love-Box and several samples of Durex condoms and lubes
Your very own “Stick It In” drink koozy!
Your own copy of the “Measure Your Pleasure” 7-Day Challenge Diary

It’s a pretty fun little package. Who doesn’t want to get an awesome box of sex in the mail?

One of the games Durex suggested we play at the Girl Talk! House Party was the “O” game. How do you O? We, the Dirty Old Moms, answered as follows:

1) Riding the hobby horse. Riding the Megabus. Riding the baloney pony. Puttin’ the buckin’ in the… Whatever euphemism you prefer, it’s how I “O!”

2) I like efficient sex! It’s business time. Let’s do this thing cause mama wants a nap.

3) I never O the same way twice in a row, but the easiest way with a partner is doggy style. Alone, some noisy porn and one of my vast array of toys does the trick.

4) These days? I O with batteries ;). Batteries wrapped in lovely, soft, purple sillicone. Heh.

5) Up, down, all around, several times in a row; I’m a lucky girl. I O pretty much at the touch of my button, so to speak. Sometimes I even O without any touch at all!

How To Enter
You have up to FOUR chances to win! Please leave a SEPARATE comment on this entry for each of these actions, letting me know you have ‘earned’ that entry. MULTIPLE ENTRIES ON ONE COMMENT WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS ON EACH ENTRY SO WE HAVE A WAY TO CONTACT YOU IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE WINNERS.

1) Guess our O’s! If you correctly match up which DOM (Dirty Old Mom, lovesickandstubborn, The Muse Amused, Modest Minx, and Liv Quixote) O’s in which way, and your entry is drawn, you win! (Incorrect guesses will not be counted.)

2) Share a link to this contest on your facebook page, and encourage others to check it out – then leave us a comment letting us know you’ve done so!

3) Become a fan of Dirty Old Moms on Facebook, and leave a comment letting us know you’re our fan!

4) Tweet about our contest, and leave us a comment letting us know your twitter name! “Bring your O-face over to Dirty Old Moms & enter the Love-Box contest! https://dirtyoldmoms.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/hey-how-about-a-contest/”

5) Blog about this contest, and leave us a comment with a link to your blog post!

Good luck everyone!

Contest is open until 10pm Central time on 10/31/10. All entries received after that will not be counted. Seven winners will be drawn using random.org shortly thereafter and announced on the site. It IS possible to win multiple times.

Theatrical Thursday

A real sex act.

You might not be a Shakespearian actor, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fantasy-filled romp in your very own bedroom.

Turn your bed into a deserted island. Bring out the Play Pina Colada Lube and Durex Tropical Flavored Condoms to set the mood.

Got a naughty fantasy that takes place in public? Do tell! While you’re being indiscreet, the Love-Box by Durex will keep your condoms out of sight. Because we know you like variety – wink, wink – this cute tin is available in 16 designs.

And guess what? Those condoms in your little tin could be the Durex Extra Sensitive variety. Your lover will, well, love them because they are ultra thin with extra lube for heightened sensitivity.

Got a fantasy? Go fulfill it.

This post is part of our 7-Day Measure Your Pleasure Durex Challenge. I was not compensated for this post, though I did receive the party pack and some Durex products from the House Party website (unrelated to this blog). Please feel free to take part in the challenge using any products you like, Durex or not. If you take part in today’s challenge on another day, that’s fine too; we still want to hear about your experiences. Finally, the challenge appears to be aimed at a hetero relationship, even though it seems all of us (except Durex!) are well aware this is far from the reality in many people’s lives; if you are in a non-hetero relationship, please modify the challenge to fit your needs, and please share what you did in the comments!

So… how was it for you??

Why Not? Wednesday

What do you feel like today?

Durex isn’t all about condoms, you know. That’s where Why Not? Wednesday comes in.

Let’s talk lubes. What the Kama Sutra is to sex positions, that’s what Play Assorted Temptations Lubricant Variety Pack is to lubes. Within this variety pack is a lube for your different moods. You’ll find tingling, warming, soothing and flavored samples to choose from.

Hey, you know what goes great with lubricated love making? A little added pleasure in the form of Durex Play Vibrations Connect Massager. Think of it as a personal massager for you both. Think precision contact. Soft and flexible design. Long lasting comfort. Mmmm. Delicious sex.

Go get you some, sweetie. You’ll love it.

This post is part of our 7-Day Measure Your Pleasure Durex Challenge. I was not compensated for this post, though I did receive the party pack and some Durex products from the House Party website (unrelated to this blog). Please feel free to take part in the challenge using any products you like, Durex or not. If you take part in today’s challenge on another day, that’s fine too; we still want to hear about your experiences. Finally, the challenge appears to be aimed at a hetero relationship, even though it seems all of us (except Durex!) are well aware this is far from the reality in many people’s lives; if you are in a non-hetero relationship, please modify the challenge to fit your needs, and please share what you did in the comments!

So… how was it for you??

Tantric Tuesday

Better sex through breathing.

Tantra’s main objective is to prolong the sex act. With that goal in mind, try Durex Performax Condoms. It has a climax-controlling lubricant on the inside of the condom so pleasure lasts and lasts… for you both.

Get started with the four basic tenets to “staying power”.

1. Design a Comfortable Space.
Decorate with candles and soft fabric. Add music* and voila – a tantric-style space.

2. Harmonize Your Breath.
Sync up with your lover. Start by breathing in each other’s breath. Next, straddle each other’s laps and soon you’ll find you’re sharing yourselves completely.

3. Eyes Wide Open
Having sex with your eyes open is more difficult than you might imagine. So start with a handful of glimpses.

4. Ready. Set. Slow.
An unrushed buildup helps your guy control climax as well as extend your arousal. So take your time.

Lastly, enjoy feeding off every moment of your shared sexual energy.

* Looking for sexy music selections? Check out our post on Music for Makin’ Love, and be sure to add some of your favorite song selections in the comments there!

This post is part of our 7-Day Measure Your Pleasure Durex Challenge. I was not compensated for this post, though I did receive the party pack and some Durex products from the House Party website (unrelated to this blog). Please feel free to take part in the challenge using any products you like, Durex or not. If you take part in today’s challenge on another day, that’s fine too; we still want to hear about your experiences. Finally, the challenge appears to be aimed at a hetero relationship, even though it seems all of us (except Durex!) are well aware this is far from the reality in many people’s lives; if you are in a non-hetero relationship, please modify the challenge to fit your needs, and please share what you did in the comments!

So… how was it for you??

More! More! More! Monday

Switch it up. Way up.

When your time in the hay needs a little extra oomph, remember communication is key.

So show your partner what gets you going. May we suggest a visual aid? Try your hand at Play Allure Personal Massager from Durex. It features multi-speed settings for vibrations that range from sensually soft to purrrrr-inducing powerful.

Dial up the sensations with Durex Play Utopia Female Arousal Gel. It’s stimulating stuff. Best of all, it was created by women for women.

This post is part of our 7-Day Measure Your Pleasure Durex Challenge. I was not compensated for this post, though I did receive the party pack and some Durex products from the House Party website (unrelated to this blog). Please feel free to take part in the challenge using any products you like, Durex or not. If you take part in today’s challenge on another day, that’s fine too; we still want to hear about your experiences. Finally, the challenge appears to be aimed at a hetero relationship, even though it seems all of us (except Durex!) are well aware this is far from the reality in many people’s lives; if you are in a non-hetero relationship, please modify the challenge to fit your needs, and please share what you did in the comments!

So… how was it for you??

Stimulating Sunday

Oral Sex. Give and you shall receive.

Oral sex is pleasure with a capital P. The information below should prove very useful – both for him and for you. So make sure your partner reads it as well.

Pleasuring him:
Cover your man with Durex Tropical Flavored Condoms. No matter the flavor, its fruity taste will have you – and him – satisfied for a long time.

Pleasuring her:
Before heading south, unveil a bottle of Durex Play Passion Cherry Lube. You’ll love the sweet and sexy taste. She’ll just love that you’re down there.

Pleasuring both:
You know that coupon you got in your party pack? It’s good for more than you see here. Use it to try the Durex Play Vibrations Ring. A personal massager that stimulates all the right places. Both you and your lover will get a real charge out of it.

This post is part of our 7-Day Measure Your Pleasure Durex Challenge. I was not compensated for this post, though I did receive the party pack and some Durex products from the House Party website (unrelated to this blog). Please feel free to take part in the challenge using any products you like, Durex or not. If you take part in today’s challenge on another day, that’s fine too; we still want to hear about your experiences. Finally, the challenge is aimed at a hetero relationship, even though it seems all of us (except Durex!) are well aware this is far from the reality in many people’s lives; if you are in a non-hetero relationship, please modify the challenge to fit your needs, and please share what you did in the comments!

So… how was it for you??

Music For Makin’ Love

I was reading a bit more of the “Measure Your Pleasure” 7-Day Challenge and a couple of the days require music! I don’t traditionally do the deed with a soundtrack, but I have a time or two in the past, and I’m game for giving it another try. Let’s compile some sexy playlists for the coming week, shall we?

Let’s get a few categories going. How about…

Setting The Mood
Long, Slow Lovin’
Bangin’ To The Beat

What songs would you pick if you were setting a personal playlist for those groupings?

The 7-Day Durex Challenge!

Recently I won a Durex Girl Talk party through the House Party website. I got an awesome box of sex in the mail, I got together with my girlfriends and had an awesome sexy party (more details on that later!), I gave pleasure-enhancing free gifts to everyone, it was great. I’ll share more information about the party, what was in the pleasure packets, and maybe even have a giveaway in the near future, but today I want to invite you all to take the “Measure Your Pleasure” 7-Day challenge with me!

This challenge was included in the party pak I won, so obviously it focuses on Durex products, most of which were included in the kit. However, since I’m not officially sponsored by Durex, I invite you all to take the challenge using any products you like, as long as you do your best to stick to the proposed challenge each day.

Another thing is that this challenge is very much aimed at hetero sex. If you are NOT hetero, please take the challenge anyway, and let’s modify it to fit your relationship! Maybe we can help Durex by sharing some tips as to how they could have made this party more GLBT friendly!

Furthermore, if you cannot manage to ‘hit that’ every day of the challenge, come back to it later! I don’t require that you have to get it on for 7 days straight. Hell, *I* might not even be able to get it on for 7 days straight; my mom’s in the hospital, I’ve got two little kids, a busy life, blah blah blah. Some of the same challenges I bet you all face. What I WOULD like to see is everyone taking the time to spice up their love life a little bit; try something different, or come back to something you haven’t done for a while.

Part of the fun of this challenge is sharing your experience with it! So please, in the comments below each challenge (which I will post in the morning each day, so you have ample time to prepare for the COMING (ahem) night), please be sure to share your experiences with us!

The diary says: The 7-Day “Measure Your Pleasure” Diary: Here to provide you with sex-stimulating advice that closes the pleasure gap. Just follow the tip of the day and record your passion-filled results.

Here are the supplies you will need to tackle all of the challenges (again, please feel free to modify to fit your circumstances):

Durex Tropical Flavored Condoms
Durex Play Passion Cherry Lube
Durex Play Vibrations Ring
Durex Play Allure Personal Massager
Durex Play Utopia Female Arousal Gel
Durex Performax Condoms
Play Assorted Temptations Lubricant Variety Pack
Durex Play Vibrations Connect Massager
Play Pina Colada Lube
Love-Box by Durex
Durex Extra Sensitive Condoms
Durex Pleasuremax Condoms
Play Soothing Lubricant

Now doesn’t that look like fun? Get shopping! (Or raid your already-existing supply box!) The challenge starts tomorrow!

Too Afraid to Grab Horns…

So, I think when one is not getting enough, maybe writing about it could help. Maybe.

I am a single mother. I am a single mother with a rather large sex drive who is not dating anyone. I do have a friend with benefits (FwB), but, gentle reader, having sex once every 3 weeks or so is like a drop water in a vast dried up ocean of desire.

*laughs* Apparently being horny makes me poetic.

The thing is, I don’t want just another FwB. I’m not just horny, I’m also lonely. I want someone who is not just a source of regular (and hot and kinky ;)) sex, but a companion, company, an emotional connection, someone to go out with! Am I asking for too much? I dunno, maybe… what with working full time, the toddler, all my many hobbies, my insane money woes, not to mention trying to get together with just my FRIENDS, I already have so much on my plate. I don’t know that I have a whole lot left to give to anyone else, or if that’s even fair to anyone else.

And the kicker is I don’t want a man. Or, rather, I don’t want JUST a man. I’m actually rather content with my male FwB, and I’ve been drawn more and more lately to women. I have only just recently consciously realized that I’m bisexual, though looking back I think I started finding woman attractive in high school. I think I even know now who was my first girl crush :). I mean, I did mess around with women (and men, I do so love me a threesome) in college, but I only in the last couple of years recognized that I’m really, truly attracted to women, and not just for their bodies. I’m still getting used to my new identity: pagan bisexual mom who is defined by many of her hobbies (geek!!) with a career she both loves and finds impossibly difficult at times. The poly thing, that’s not new to me, though it rarely works out as expected. So I guess I’m looking for a primary woman, as my boy’s definitely my secondary.

I’ve dated a few women, but they were hot and fast and went up in big flames of crazy. *sigh* A couple of the women and I are friends again, which is nice (both married with kids now, now that I think about it… hmm…), but the one that I had the biggest crush on was also the biggest falling out, and she still hates my guts and refuses to acknowledge my presence if we happen to cross in the same circle. It was tramatizing, and I still haven’t really gotten over it. And I guess that’s my problem. I’m terrified to approach women now, more or less.

It’s hard to get some when one is too scared to go out and actually acquire anything, huh? I’m too scared to even approach women, let alone talk to them. And part of that is social stigma and fear of rejection, and part of that is old heart wounds. Ah, yes, the human condition at work. And so instead of daring to get out there, I sit at home with a full supply of batteries and long for the percieved unatainable just because… I’m human. Such is life sometimes.

So, until I finally grab the bull by the horns (Ewe? Ewe’s have horns, and female caribou…), I’ll be here, at the ready. In the meanwhile, at least I did learn something about myself and my identity, and what I want. Until next time, dear reader, I bid you happy orgasms. 😉

Sex Scenes In Media

I know that BY FAR I am not the first person to talk about sex scenes in movies (or books, or shows), and I’m sure I won’t be the last, either. But I love movies, and I love a good sex scene, and since this is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want, by god, I WILL, even if it’s been covered by a thousand people before me.

So I was in the shower, and I was thinking about tits… stop me if you’ve heard this one before. (If you read any of my other blogs, you’ll recognize that as the starting line of tonight’s post on my horror blog.) I was specifically thinking about tits in horror movies, and of adding a new weekly feature to that blog centering around said topic, and this is where my blogging lines start to blur. It’s got tits (and ass, and wang), so maybe it would be better to feature it here. But it’s primarily going to focus on HORROR media, which makes it possibly more appropriate for my horror blog. I just don’t know! Rather than repeat myself in two places on the internet (that’s TRUE horror, after all), I figured I’d start a similar weekly feature over here, and highlight sex scenes that I encounter in various forms of media over the week. Sex-Scene Sunday?

I cannot POSSIBLY express how happy it makes me that this is the second image result when you Google “sex scenes in movies”. FAN. TAS. TIC. And I say that with no sarcasm whatsoever.

I tried to think of some examples to kick off this post, and honestly my brain went totally blank. I know there are a million of them out there, and instead of something GOOD, do you know what invaded my mind and wouldn’t let go? The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. Haven’t seen it? Don’t bother. My husband and I watched it at the behest of a good friend who insisted that it was the most AMAZING movie she’d ever seen (we’re still wondering what she was smoking). It was a pretty torturous art-house flick, but we stuck it out through the end. Some years down the road, I honestly couldn’t tell you exactly what the movie is about or what the point of it is (though I do believe I recall a good amount of nudity and sex scenes; it is, after all, an ARTSY film). I CAN, however, tell you about the end of the movie in excruciating detail, as it is burned into my brain forever and always. The thief, in a fit of rage, manages to get a hold of his wife’s lover and kill him. The wife, finding her dead lover, convinces the cook to, well, cook his body, and forces her husband to eat it before she kills him. “Try the cock,” she says in a half-teasing, half-threatening voice. “It’s a delicacy.”

(I’ve found the scene here. The fully cooked cadaver (with aforementioned DELICACY on full display) is a thing of horrific wonder; while not a horror film in and of itself, I may have to feature this scene on Wang Wednesdays over at my horror blog.)

SO! Now that we’re all feeling good and sexy, what are some of your favorite sex scenes in media?

(By the by, I thought of something else as I was in the midst of typing this post. The documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated, a most interesting discourse on how the MPAA chooses to assign ratings to films, unsurprisingly covers an astounding amount of sex in movies. There were movies with THRUST COUNTS, for god’s sake. It’s as good a place as any to start if you’re looking for sex scenes in abundance. And it was a fairly interesting documentary, too.)