The Muse Amused

I was looking for a mythological facade for this blog, as there is a lot of sex, intrigue, and fertility in the worlds of the gods. After much research I think Muses really fit the bill.

Muses are hidden from sight, working their magic with a nudge or a whisper, never taking the credit for the resulting works created. I think that’s an interesting parallel with moms and sexuality – Being a mom is revered, that tiny little miracle growing inside you makes you the center of attention and all KINDS of inquiries. But… the SEX that put that little miracle there? Oh, no, that is so very hush-hush, you can’t even think to mention HOW you came to be a mom in the first place. I have a friend that “refuses” to believe that I ever could have had sex, because I’m a mom… So once a woman, already stereotypically the less sexual of the sexes (unless you know MY friends), becomes a MOM, it’s like their sexuality becomes completely hidden, never getting the credit for what it created.

I always thought that was an odd double standard.

I’ve always been a very sexual being. I started masturbating around 6 years old, though I didn’t know what it was at the time. I DID know that it was not something to share, and my family never knew. In grade school (5th?) my good buddy used to take me over to his house so we could look through his dad’s porno mags. I always thought those books were wonderful.

High school was fairly routine sexually. I dated a bunch, and with each new boy I went a little farther, culminating in losing my virginity to my sweetheart, also a virgin, in Nov of 1997. We were 17 . It was sweet and akward and romantic. He never got fully erect, it never hurt, and he didn’t orgasm that first time, and I would not trade it for the world. We got much better at the sex after that, and we explored oral sex as well. I discovered that I FAR prefered to give than to recieve.

College was a whole new world for me. I got into the goth/gamer/alternative/pagan crowd. I had my first three-some, and many more after that. I got my first taste of paganism and magic too, and slowly went from a straight, good girl Catholic to an open and curious witch. I discovered the bond between energy and sex, dancing and sex. And while I know I’m not the most experienced girl in the world I got to try little tastes of things like bondage, dominance, food play, temperature play, and multiple partners. It was a glorious time.

There was a boyfriend through a lot of the college experimenting. We were open, and honest when we wanted to mess around with someone else, though to be honest *I* was the one doing most of the messing around. Sometimes with him, sometimes out on my own. I started to explore my budding curiosity about women, though he was always there, so it was under the cover of three somes. We did marry, and we were happy, briefly. I discovered that while I’m not all that into porn, it IS fun to watch with my partner. But I think I was just too alternative for him, and he wanted a woman totally devoted to him. Sadly, I was just too sexual to be tied down like that and we parted ways, amicably.

There was an asshole ex in college that gave me chlamydia. It is curable, but causes uterine scar tissue, so it was 50/50 that I would ever concieve. I never got pregnant with my ex-husband, and I believed myself to be in the bottom 50. So, when only after 3 months of being with my new boyfriend I found myself pregnant, that was QUITE a shock. Alas, he never wanted to have kids, and the pregnancy was too much too soon for us. We broke up. He does love her very much and is a wonderful father.

But, here we are. I have my daughter half the time, and we have our own little apartment. I love her with all my soul, but sadly I don’t get out a lot anymore, so the sex is all but stopped. I am currently big into my vibrators, hentai and hot alternative women, and wondering how to get back out there and get active again, cause let me tell you, I am ALL about the sex.